Aathmika's Pov

अभिज्ञान हम जानते है कि आप हमसे बोहोत प्रेम करते है किंतु अब प्रेम से ज़्यादा ज़रूरी हमारा विवाह हो गया है 

हमारे मा और बापू सा चाहते है कि इस वर्ष हमारा विवाह हो जाए वे तो चाहते है कि हमारा विवाह जल्दी हो जाए अभिज्ञान हम आपसे विरह का दर्द नही सहन कर सकेंगे हमारा आपको ये बताने का करण सिर्फ इतना है कि आप आपके पिता साहेब से बात करें और जल्द ही बारात लेके हमारे राज्य आयें अब हम आपसे और दूर नही रह सकते |

आयेंगे न आप?

हमने आज तक आपसे हमारे किसी भी खत का जवाब नही मांगा जितने खात आपने भेजे उसमे ही प्रसन्न रहे किंतु इस बार इस खत का जवाब चाहते है हम ओर हमारे सवाल का भी |

देंगे ना? 

आपके जवाब का इंतजार करेंगे हम युवराज अभिज्ञान

आपकी आत्मिका..

(Abhigyan I know that you love me very much but now my wedding more important than love.

my mother and father want me to get married this year, they want me to get married soon, Abhigyan, I will not be able to bear the pain of separation from you, my only reason for telling you is that you talk to your father saheb and soon come to our state with a procession, now I cannot stay away from you anymore.

you will come right?

I have not asked you to answer any of our letters till date, be happy with the number of letters you sent, but this time I want the answer to this letter and my question too.

you will give me answer right?

I will wait for your reply Yuvraj Abhigyan

Your Aathmika...  )

I folded the letter while whipping my tears

"reva"

I called my attendee...

reva came inside

"reva please send this letter to yuvraj abhigyan anyhow ..I will be indebted to you for the rest of my life"

I cried

"Aathmika you are not only our rajkumari but my good friend too.. seeing you saying like this it feels you only thought of me as your attendee."

reva said.. and I hugged her tightly

I was 19 when I first saw prince Abhigyan .. smiling .. talking to all the peoples respectfully .. It was my 19th birthday when my bapu sa arranged a celebration in which all the kings of states we have good connection with came.

I still remember his voice and the way he wished me.

"जनमदिन बोहोत मुबारक हो आत्मिका...अच्छा बतायें आप आत्मिका का मतलब जानती है?"

( "a very happy birthday Aathmika.. hmm so do you know the meaning of your name?")

these were his first words when he came to me to wish me birthday and to his question I just shooked my head .. I didn't knew it 

"'आत्मिका' नाम भारतीय/हिंदीश मूल का है, विशेष रूप से संस्कृत मूल से। इसका आम तौर पर अर्थ है 'आत्मा', 'आत्मा का प्रकाश' या 'आत्मा से जुड़ा'। यह अपेक्षाकृत अद्वितीय और कम आम नाम है। जैसा कि अभी हमने बताया यह एक कम आम नाम है बोहोत भाग्यशाली है आप की आपको यह नाम मिला|

काफी मेहनत करनी पड़ी होगी आपके मा और बापू सा को इतना अच्छा नाम खोजने मे|"

I was just awestruck by his way of talking it seemed he had great knowledge of Hindi and Sanskrit too. after that I was not able to get him out of my mind and then I became 20 .. till them I had realised that I love him so I asked my father to arrange a celebration this time too.. and without any thought he agreed 

we met again

but this time I confessed and he confessed too saying he was also searching a good moment to say that.

from then the saga of letters started.

I came out of my thoughts when reva came inside the chamber

"did you give the letter?"

I asked impateintly

"yes I did .. now you don't stress more .. and see its very late you should sleep."

I hugged her

reva was same of my age and my best friend too.. she was the best .. I love her more than anything she was with me from the start we did everything together from studies to taking bath together in the initial days when I was 6 and she was 6.6 years old.

Next morning

I was in  my  chamber just then reva showed up excited 

" Aathmika your letter came"

I smiled wholeheartedly 

I took the letter and reva moves out of the chamber to give me privacy.

but my smile starts to shrink as I start to read the letter and it vanished in the end.

"तो क्या सवाल पूछा आपने? 

कि हम बारात लेके आएंगे आपके यहा या नही तो सुन लें आत्मिका

 हम आपसे प्रेम करते थे

 पर आप हमे वो कुछ नही दे पाईं जो हमे कोठे मे मिलता है |

हाँ वही कह रहे है हम, आत्मिका हम आपसे इतने दिन दूर थे प्रेम तो था आपसे पर वो धीरे धीरे खतम होगया |

हम मोहिनी से प्रेम करते है कोठेवाली है पर पिता साहेब को तो हम मना ही लेंगे और आप भी अब विवाह कर ही लें क्या पता आपकी उमर निकल जाये ओर आप आपके पति को उनके राज्य का वारिस न दे पाएं|

हमे तो शक होता है आत्मिका की जब आप हमसे सिर्फ एक मुलाकात मे प्रेम कर बैठी थी तो ना जाने आपको किस किस से प्रेम हुआ होगा|

हमे तो ये भी लगता है कि आप कुंवारी नही है

किंतु अब हमारे कुच भी लगने या ना लगने का कोई लाभ नही है क्युकी अब हम आपसे प्रेम नही करते विवाह कर लीजिये आत्मिका ये कोठेवालियो वाली हरकत आपको शोभा नही देती

एक खुशखबरी सुनायें? मोहिनी के दिन चढ़ रहे है तो अगले मास हमारा विवाह निश्चित हुआ है अगर तब तक आपका विवाह हो चुका होगा तो आशा करते है कि आप और आपके पति साथ आएंगे हमारे विवाह मे

आयेंगे ना?

आपका कभी ना होने वाला पति

अभिज्ञान

(So, what question did you ask?

That  will come with a procession to your place or not, then listen Aathmika.

I  loved you

But you could not give me anything that I get from the brothels.

Yes, I am saying that only, I was away from you for so many days, I had love  for you, but it gradually ended.

I love Mohini, she is a sex worker but I will convince the father and you too get married now, who knows that your age will pass and you will not be able to give your husband the heir of his kingdom.

I doubt that when you fell in love with me  in just one meeting, I do not know with how many you  would have fallen in love with

I even think that you are not a virgin

But now there is no use of me feeling anything or not because now I do not love you, get married, this act of the sex worker does not suit you.

should I tell you a good news? mohini is pregnant , so next month our marriage is fixed, if you are married by then, then I hope that you and your husband will come together in our marriage.

will come right?

Your never-to-be husband

Abhigyan )

I was in tears .. I was shattered .. how could he do this... was I nothing to him?.. just a mere timepass?... by now I was crying bitterly..

but just then a thought stuck my mind

Is it even worth it? are my tears worth it for him? who wanted nothing but sex from me?

and the answer is no 

my mother is right 

I am born to be a Queen

powerful and strong not a delicate bud of flower..

my heart was still bleeding but my mind was more powerful right now and  whiping my tears , I head to my parent's chamber.